Guess Who Was The Last Person To Visit Kaliningrad Easily?

kalinin — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 15:46:04 +0000

Back in the 1930s, Hitler would catch a train from Berlin to Konigsberg. It took him 8 hours.

Today, it takes all of 8 hours just to get from Gdansk in Poland, just 125 kilometers away. The miserably slow border isn’t the only problem. In December, Poland cancelled the overnight sleeper to Berlin. It will now take you 20 hours travel time and four trains minimum to repeat Hitler’s journey.

Last time I looked, a regular daytime journey to Berlin took 35 hours. Er, no, I didn’t book a ticket. So far, Moscow hasn’t cancelled its own Kaliningrad special, the ‘Amber Train‘, but lack of interest might do it. Here’s the schedule:

The Amber train to Kaliningrad departs from Moscow at 2 p.m with a hard day’s night ahead of every passenger.

At 2 a.m. conductors wake everyone up for a forty minute halt at Gudogai, and a papers and baggage check at the Belarussian border.

At 3 a.m. the train arrives in Kena, Lithuania, and the same procedure is repeated at the Lithuanian border. At 4.15 a.m. the train is due at Vilnius, and there is a twenty-minute halt with random checks. At 6.30 a.m. there is a Lithuanian state border again with another round of formalities, so you won’t be able to sleep even in the morning.

At 7.45 a.m. there is one more border, this time a Russian one (Nesterov), and you undergo another forty-minute check. Finally the train arrives in Kaliningrad at 10.45 a.m.

The progressive isolation of Kaliningrad is why residents call their unfortunate region, ‘The European Prison‘. It’s becoming as closed a closed town as it was in Soviet times. But this time, the EU is the jailer and Poland’s action amounts to throwing away the key.

If you’re looking for someone to name and shame, it is:

Gunnar Wiegand

Acting Director Eastern Europe, South Caucasus, Central Asian Republics, Head of Unit for Relations with Russia, Northern Dimension Policy, European Commission

Kaliningrad’s ghettoisation falls under the EU’s ‘Northern Dimension Policy’. Could Hitler have thought up a more sinister sounding name?

Slow Train To Gdansk

admin — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 14:43:40 +0000

Kaliningrad-Gdansk is one of the world’s slowest train journeys. They say it’s about six hours. Which is a long time to cover just 125K. And there’s still more time to factor in.

First, it’s important to know that all trains in Russia run on Moscow time. So the 18.35 from Kaliningrad to Gdansk actually leaves at 17.35 local time. Add an hour already.

En route, the train passes through a border post in a forest between Russia and Poland, for which you can probably allow an hour on either side. The forest is of cold-war-style barbed wire which just leaves a gap wide enough for the train. It’s time-warp travel in every sense.

I checked my baggage for an anaesthetizing hit. I had some paracetamol, ear drops, a lucky icon calendar and some Russian railway sugar. Not really enough to knock me out for six hours. I can however recommend finding a talkative Australian and a carriage of cigarette smugglers. This passes the time rather well.

Cigarette smuggling is the premier economic activity of the Kaliningrad Oblast. When you take your seat on the train, don’t be surprised to find a little old Polish lady underneath it with a power screwdriver. At Kaliningrad Voksal, cigarette cartons are hidden in the seats, ventilation ducts, strip lighting, headlining, loos, everywhere. The old ladies then innocently take seats at a distance from their stash.

At the border, Russian and Polish guards board the train with power screwdrivers, climb all over you, take the train apart and put it back together again. None of the guards have guns in their holsters, only Black’n'Deckers.

Besides old ladies, does anyone really need to visit Gdansk? Well, there are many Lech Walesa posters around the place – including a huge mural at Gdansk’s Lech Walesa airport – which tell you that the town is the ‘crucible of modern democracy’ and ‘history started here’.

It’s all a bit of a horse laugh. In the 1970s, the Gdansk shipyards provided employment for over 20,000 craftsmen. Today there are just 3,000 jobs and the skilled workforce is currently washing dishes or packing chickens in England. Or smuggling cigarettes. Solidarity is just a fondly remembered logo.

The Soviets were roundly – and rightly – criticised for a lack of infrastructure care in Poland. But at least they left things as they were.

This is the station as it was. Today the middle section is a McDonalds and the east wing a Kentucky Fried Chicken. There’s a huge illuminated KFC on the gable. The ornate windows are sadly covered with giant colour blowups of Happy Meals.

All in all, it was a delight to return to Kaliningrad. Not only is Kaliningrad Voksal beautifully restored, with polished marble halls and new blue and gold uniforms for the ticket clerks, but the old Babushka in the cafe is always drunk and pretty quick to splosh around the wine and konyak. Really, this is the essential difference between Russia and Poland – liquidarity rather than solidarity.

kaliningrad » Getting Here

Guess Who Was The Last Person To Visit Kaliningrad Easily?

Slow Train To Gdansk